A far too common frustration we hear from an unfaithful partner in the betrayal recovery world is, “I’m not acting out anymore, why don’t they trust me?” I’m going to try to make this as simple as possible and want you to put yourself in this picture. Imagine that you had a family member, close… Continue reading Why Don’t They Trust Me!
Tag: Lies
12 Reasons Why They Didn’t Tell You
They didn’t tell you because they didn’t want to “hurt you”. Righto, anyone heard this before? How about these possibilities … They knew what they were doing was wrong They didn’t want to stop doing what they were doing They knew you’d be pissed and they didn’t want to have to deal with uncomfortable feelings… Continue reading 12 Reasons Why They Didn’t Tell You
“But What Did You Do?”
Don’t you love it when you’re asked what part you played in your partner cheating on you? Like what did you do or didn’t do to make them act out 🤷♀️ Ummmm oh gosh let me see… I was and am faithful, trustworthy, loyal, committed, loving, kind, compassionate, playful, caring, adventurous, I’m a great cook,… Continue reading “But What Did You Do?”
Unveiling Truth
Honesty is without a doubt the number one necessity in re-establishing safety post betrayal, without this you’re faced with building your relationship on shifting sands when it requires and deserves rigorous honesty creating the solid bedrock of truth. D Day is a post I wrote in October 2020, I stand by the content while also… Continue reading Unveiling Truth
“He Had it Coming”
Some time ago I wrote The Moment of Impact quoting experiences of many betrayed partners around the world. In my opinion, society, culture and media do a lousy job conveying the reality and intensity of trauma and suffering inflicted upon loved ones in the wake of intimate betrayal. The consequences of infidelity, betrayal and addiction… Continue reading “He Had it Coming”
30th Wedding Anniversary
2/10/1993 was the day we exchanged vows committing our relationship of 3 years to “til death do us part”. Beyond Betrayal; 28 Years, Lies-Deceit-Infidelity tells the whole story. So here we are 30 years married and just over 4 years into recovery, celebrating a milestone that I never thought we’d see after our 2018 separation.… Continue reading 30th Wedding Anniversary
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️🩹
A wounded heart often struggles to live up to expectations of the Christmas season. If your heart is hurting, grappling to find joy in the midst of trauma, please be kind to yourself. Do what you must do but not more than need to and remember that it’s ok to say “no” to things that… Continue reading The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️🩹
Severing Ties
How difficult was it to write our story? Bloody hard… After decades striving to maintain an image and hide truths, the journey to owning my own story as a cheat, liar and unfaithful husband, has been slow and arduous. I’d done everything within my power to prevent my brokenness from seeing daylight. Even when the… Continue reading Severing Ties
Sobering Figures
I recently stumbled across the Sexual Health Australia site while meandering down the research rabbit hole. According to this organisation, Australia’s prevalence of extra-marital affairs is that a whopping 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that infidelity has occurred sometime in their marriage. They actually suggest that an accurate figure… Continue reading Sobering Figures
Don’t Say A Word
Why do people think that not talking about affairs and the abusive nature of behaviours surrounding them, will somehow make them magically disappear? The notion of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” is infuriating. For me personally decades of secrets and deceit actually hurt more than the affairs themselves! Secrets will always be revealed… Continue reading Don’t Say A Word