Severing Ties

How difficult was it to write our story? Bloody hard… After decades striving to maintain an image and hide truths, the journey to owning my own story as a cheat, liar and unfaithful husband, has been slow and arduous. I’d done everything within my power to prevent my brokenness from seeing daylight. Even when theContinue reading “Severing Ties”

Sobering Figures

I recently stumbled across the Sexual Health Australia site while meandering down the research rabbit hole. According to this organisation, Australias prevalence for extra-marital affairs is that, a whopping 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that infidelity has occurred sometime in their marriage. They actually suggest that an accurate figureContinue reading “Sobering Figures”

The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity

*Content warning; this is a creative writing piece describing how the first 18 months of recovery felt for me, I’ve used some strong imagery that may be an emotional trigger for others who are on a similar journey. Please proceed with caution. You’re cruising down a long straight stretch of country road in this carContinue reading “The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity”

What’s in an S?

A couple of weeks ago, following my post Don’t Say a Word, we were going to explore some of the S’s in Ssshh.  If you’re following our blog, you’ll recall that Dave had some important information he wanted to share, so today I’ll rewind and begin unpacking some of those ‘S‘ words that rattled aroundContinue reading “What’s in an S?”

How Do I Get Out of This Place?

Where do unfaithful men and women turn for help when the world around them implodes? Men in particular don’t like asking for directions when we’re lost and believe it or not, betraying my wife is never a road I thought I’d end up on, so if we have no idea how we got here howContinue reading “How Do I Get Out of This Place?”

When is a D-day, not a D-day?

We had church in our home last Sunday, it was a small intimate gathering with people of deep faith. After everyone left, Dave and I put the furniture back in place and had a couple of hours before meeting friends for lunch. I told Dave I was going upstairs to lay down to read forContinue reading “When is a D-day, not a D-day?”

Don’t Say A Word

Why do people think that not talking about affairs and the abusive nature of behaviours surrounding them, will somehow make them magically disappear? The notion of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” is infuriating. For me personally decades of secrets and deceit actually hurt more than the affairs themselves! Secrets will always be revealedContinue reading “Don’t Say A Word”

An unexpected trigger…

We’re 18 months out from a lifetime of deceit. Our marriage and relationship is very different now. We’ve both done a lot of work to get to this place, that doesn’t mean life is perfect. Last weekend was a perfect example of how imperfect we are. We caught up with my extended family for aContinue reading “An unexpected trigger…”

“It was a mistake…”

No it wasn’t!  A mistake is filling your car with petrol instead of diesel. That’s a mistake… The unfaithful partner made a choice or series of choices which led them to the point of betrayal. Don’t confuse the two and PLEASE don’t believe anyone who tries to tells you otherwise. So, when you hear theContinue reading ““It was a mistake…””

D Day

Wow, which one?  There’s been plenty of discovery over the years but only one full disclosure. That came twenty eight years after the first discovery. I’ve not met many people who get the whole truth in one go.  More commonly the truth is trickled out over time which is repeatedly devastating and only prolongs theContinue reading “D Day”

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