Original Preface

Our harshest critic aka most constructive Beta Reader gave the feedback that this preface was “good but too long…” So although some of what you’re about to read is in our final copy, this is the entire unedited version that didn’t make the cut. I hope you can take something of value away from it.Continue reading “Original Preface”

Becoming Safe

The only mistake that will destroy you, is the one you won’t admit to. I’m the last one to call an affair a mistake, I mean earthquakes and cyclones happen, you accidentally step in dog poo or brush your teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste, but no one just happens to cheat on theirContinue reading “Becoming Safe”

What is Infidelity?

Dr Frank Pittman describes infidelity as “the keeping of secrets”. The longer Dave and I are on this recovery journey, the more we learn about ourselves and others, and the more we connect with betrayed or unfaithful men and women—the more we align with Frank’s description as being truth. If you’ve read our Memoir you’llContinue reading “What is Infidelity?”

The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity

*Content warning; this is a creative writing piece describing how the first 18 months of recovery felt for me, I’ve used some strong imagery that may be an emotional trigger for others who are on a similar journey. Please proceed with caution. You’re cruising down a long straight stretch of country road in this carContinue reading “The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity”

What’s in an S?

A couple of weeks ago, following my post Don’t Say a Word, we were going to explore some of the S’s in Ssshh.  If you’re following our blog, you’ll recall that Dave had some important information he wanted to share, so today I’ll rewind and begin unpacking some of those ‘S‘ words that rattled aroundContinue reading “What’s in an S?”

No Excuses

Understanding infidelity is crucial to recovery but beware of justifying your actions As I continue to uncover and understand some of the flawed thinking, falsehoods and habits that enabled my choices to deceive, there is a line between understanding and justification that is easy to cross  Understanding helps me be completely accountable for past behavioursContinue reading “No Excuses”

Nail that shame to the cross!

Guilt and shame are two very different feelings. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad” shame says, “I AM BAD!” Guilt propels you to rectify your wrongdoing, shame keeps you trapped in a negative cycle of self loathing, self soothing, self focus, self, self, self. Shame is all about YOU but not in a healthy way…Continue reading “Nail that shame to the cross!”

World Mental Health Day 2020

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” You’re Stronger Than You Think!

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining us! “When we recover loudly, we keep others from dying quietly” — Unknown “There’s a book in everyone” they say. Why did this have to be ‘our’ book? Seriously, why did this have to happen to me? Why did it have to happen to us? “Why not?” the wise person answered.

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