Anniversaries & Triggers

Anniversaries and triggers are a painful reality following any traumatic event. Reactions can be variable depending on timing and circumstances, reminders are pretty much unavoidable—triggers may come from out of the blue and can be damn intense, to say the least. We, humans, are an interesting species, we need to attach meaning to almost everything,Continue reading “Anniversaries & Triggers”

Dear Unfaithful

Dear unfaithful, There’s probably a lot in this that you’re not going to want to hear—but you really need to if you want to begin to understand what’s happened. Imagine that you’ve just dropped a nuclear bomb on your marriage, your spouse, yourself and your family.  The world as you once knew has been annihilated—napalmed—andContinue reading “Dear Unfaithful”

Dearest Betrayed

You didn’t deserve this… You did nothing to cause it and there is nothing that you could have done differently to prevent it from happening. Your partners’ betrayal had nothing to do with you, heck it didn’t even have anything to do with the other person/s or object/s they chose to betray you with. SoContinue reading “Dearest Betrayed”

What is Infidelity?

Dr Frank Pittman describes infidelity as “the keeping of secrets”. The longer Dave and I are on this recovery journey, the more we learn about ourselves and others, and the more we connect with betrayed or unfaithful men and women—the more we align with Frank’s description as being truth. If you’ve read our Memoir you’llContinue reading “What is Infidelity?”

Can Leopards Change Their Spots?

Once a Narc, Always a Narc? I’m not so sure. This kind of thinking is too black and white for me and I feel that the mindset only encourages unaccountability and a victim mentality. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but (HeContinue reading “Can Leopards Change Their Spots?”

Amazing Grace

GRACE is the unmerited favour of God toward mankind… Grace can’t be bought or earned and none of us is deserving. It’s a free gift borne out of divine love. Billy Graham says “Our human mind, with it’s philosophy of an equal return of favours done, can hardly comprehend the full meaning of this graceContinue reading “Amazing Grace”

Trusting the Process

When Dave and I discovered the Affair Recovery website in 2019, we felt enormous relief that there were people in the world, ‘just like us’. People sitting on both sides of the infidelity fence, ones who wanted and managed to salvage their marriage and also ones who didn’t. We found a well of resources drawnContinue reading “Trusting the Process”

The Rabbit Listened

Someone very near and dear to Dave and I, someone who has known us for many years, is reading our memoir. Each time I speak with them, the same comment is made, “I don’t know how you put up with it”. During our last conversation they remarked, “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” “How comeContinue reading “The Rabbit Listened”

Pain and Suffering

Who in their right mind wants to put their hand up for this! We live in a fallen world, unfortunately pain and suffering is an inevitable part of this broken humanity. Last month Pastor Lach interviewed Dave and I as part of a wider series on pain and suffering; there is pain and suffering whichContinue reading “Pain and Suffering”

Real Time Recovery pt 3…

Relapse, lapse and acting out are all distinctively different behaviours—a lapse like this doesn’t automatically mean that a relationship is ruined. It serves as a reminder as to how sinister the roots of addiction are and also the marathon effort it takes to heal from a lifetime of unhealthy behaviours. What’s needed now is aContinue reading “Real Time Recovery pt 3…”

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