Cleaning Out The Wound

Dave’s a surfer, he could spend hours in a lineup waiting for his chance to pull into the perfect barrel. Over the years he’s had his fair share of reef kisses. Most parts of his body have either been grazed, scratched, pierced or cut by some form of marine matter. Sea Urchins and broken bitsContinue reading “Cleaning Out The Wound”

Original Preface

Our harshest critic aka most constructive Beta Reader gave the feedback that this preface was “good but too long…” So although some of what you’re about to read is in our final copy, this is the entire unedited version that didn’t make the cut. I hope you can take something of value away from it.Continue reading “Original Preface”

Becoming Safe

The only mistake that will destroy you, is the one you won’t admit to. I’m the last one to call an affair a mistake, I mean earthquakes and cyclones happen, you accidentally step in dog poo or brush your teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste, but no one just happens to cheat on theirContinue reading “Becoming Safe”

Dear Unfaithful

Dear unfaithful, There’s probably a lot in this that you’re not going to want to hear—but you really need to if you want to begin to understand what’s happened. Imagine that you’ve just dropped a nuclear bomb on your marriage, your spouse, yourself and your family.  The world as you once knew has been annihilated—napalmed—andContinue reading “Dear Unfaithful”

Trusting the Process

When Dave and I discovered the Affair Recovery website in 2019, we felt enormous relief that there were people in the world, ‘just like us’. People sitting on both sides of the infidelity fence, ones who wanted and managed to salvage their marriage and also ones who didn’t. We found a well of resources drawnContinue reading “Trusting the Process”

Real Time Recovery pt 3…

Relapse, lapse and acting out are all distinctively different behaviours—a lapse like this doesn’t automatically mean that a relationship is ruined. It serves as a reminder as to how sinister the roots of addiction are and also the marathon effort it takes to heal from a lifetime of unhealthy behaviours. What’s needed now is aContinue reading “Real Time Recovery pt 3…”

Real Time Recovery pt 2

I honestly wasn’t anticipating the fallout of asking Noni whether something was bothering her after grocery shopping. Sure she was quiet but I still didn’t think it had anything to do with me, I really wasn’t expecting it. Only when she queried what was going on back at the store did I realise that myContinue reading “Real Time Recovery pt 2”

Real Time Recovery

If you’ve read our Memoir you’ll know right from the start that Dave nor I profess to have ‘arrived’ anywhere, we are still very much in the thick of this recovery journey. It’s taken us a lifetime to get to this starting point so it’s likely going to take us another lifetime to complete it!Continue reading “Real Time Recovery”

Severing Ties

How difficult was it to write our story? Bloody hard… After decades striving to maintain an image and hide truths, the journey to owning my own story as a cheat, liar and unfaithful husband, has been slow and arduous. I’d done everything within my power to prevent my brokenness from seeing daylight. Even when theContinue reading “Severing Ties”

Sobering Figures

I recently stumbled across the Sexual Health Australia site while meandering down the research rabbit hole. According to this organisation, Australia’s prevalence of extra-marital affairs is that a whopping 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that infidelity has occurred sometime in their marriage. They actually suggest that an accurate figureContinue reading “Sobering Figures”

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