Severing Ties

How difficult was it to write our story? Bloody hard… After decades striving to maintain an image and hide truths, the journey to owning my own story as a cheat, liar and unfaithful husband, has been slow and arduous. I’d done everything within my power to prevent my brokenness from seeing daylight. Even when theContinue reading “Severing Ties”

Sobering Figures

I recently stumbled across the Sexual Health Australia site while meandering down the research rabbit hole. According to this organisation, Australias prevalence for extra-marital affairs is that, a whopping 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that infidelity has occurred sometime in their marriage. They actually suggest that an accurate figureContinue reading “Sobering Figures”

The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity

*Content warning; this is a creative writing piece describing how the first 18 months of recovery felt for me, I’ve used some strong imagery that may be an emotional trigger for others who are on a similar journey. Please proceed with caution. You’re cruising down a long straight stretch of country road in this carContinue reading “The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity”

But What About the AP?

Ahhhhh the affair partner, how many colourful names do we have for them? The dirty rotten pieces of work that they are—damn home-wreckers who set out to destroy our lives! Are they really? Here’s my theory, it may not be a popular one and at the risk of setting a cat amongst the pigeons, I’mContinue reading “But What About the AP?”

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow! Our first review on Amazon—5 flipping STARS! Eye-opening (reviewed in the United States on March 18, 2021) “Love is something we do.” “Change creates growth.” These are my two favorite kernels of wisdom from Beyond Betrayal, an eye-opening memoir that imparts precious knowledge about love, long-term relationships, infidelity, and trauma.* The book begins withContinue reading “⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️”

Secrets, Seduction, Silence, Shame

Sssshhh… grab yourself a cuppa and click away—there’s some good links in this one. Secrets Is it bad to keep secrets? What harm could possibly come? Dr John Gottman says “When you’re keeping secrets, you’re hurting your own ability to love”. Seduction Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul andContinue reading “Secrets, Seduction, Silence, Shame”

What’s in an S?

A couple of weeks ago, following my post Don’t Say a Word, we were going to explore some of the S’s in Ssshh.  If you’re following our blog, you’ll recall that Dave had some important information he wanted to share, so today I’ll rewind and begin unpacking some of those ‘S‘ words that rattled aroundContinue reading “What’s in an S?”

An unexpected trigger…

We’re 18 months out from a lifetime of deceit. Our marriage and relationship is very different now. We’ve both done a lot of work to get to this place, that doesn’t mean life is perfect. Last weekend was a perfect example of how imperfect we are. We caught up with my extended family for aContinue reading “An unexpected trigger…”

Nail that shame to the cross!

Guilt and shame are two very different feelings. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad” shame says, “I AM BAD!” Guilt propels you to rectify your wrongdoing, shame keeps you trapped in a negative cycle of self loathing, self soothing, self focus, self, self, self. Shame is all about YOU but not in a healthy way…Continue reading “Nail that shame to the cross!”

“It was a mistake…”

No it wasn’t!  A mistake is filling your car with petrol instead of diesel. That’s a mistake… The unfaithful partner made a choice or series of choices which led them to the point of betrayal. Don’t confuse the two and PLEASE don’t believe anyone who tries to tells you otherwise. So, when you hear theContinue reading ““It was a mistake…””

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