Secrets, Seduction, Silence, Shame

Sssshhh… grab yourself a cuppa and click away—there’s some good links in this one. Secrets Is it bad to keep secrets? What harm could possibly come? Dr John Gottman says “When you’re keeping secrets, you’re hurting your own ability to love”. Seduction Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul andContinue reading “Secrets, Seduction, Silence, Shame”

What’s in an S?

A couple of weeks ago, following my post Don’t Say a Word, we were going to explore some of the S’s in Ssshh.  If you’re following our blog, you’ll recall that Dave had some important information he wanted to share, so today I’ll rewind and begin unpacking some of those ‘S‘ words that rattled aroundContinue reading “What’s in an S?”

An unexpected trigger…

We’re 18 months out from a lifetime of deceit. Our marriage and relationship is very different now. We’ve both done a lot of work to get to this place, that doesn’t mean life is perfect. Last weekend was a perfect example of how imperfect we are. We caught up with my extended family for aContinue reading “An unexpected trigger…”

Nail that shame to the cross!

Guilt and shame are two very different feelings. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad” shame says, “I AM BAD!” Guilt propels you to rectify your wrongdoing, shame keeps you trapped in a negative cycle of self loathing, self soothing, self focus, self, self, self. Shame is all about YOU but not in a healthy way…Continue reading “Nail that shame to the cross!”

“It was a mistake…”

No it wasn’t!  A mistake is filling your car with petrol instead of diesel. That’s a mistake… The unfaithful partner made a choice or series of choices which led them to the point of betrayal. Don’t confuse the two and PLEASE don’t believe anyone who tries to tells you otherwise. So, when you hear theContinue reading ““It was a mistake…””

D Day

Wow, which one?  There’s been plenty of discovery over the years but only one full disclosure. That came twenty eight years after the first discovery. I’ve not met many people who get the whole truth in one go.  More commonly the truth is trickled out over time which is repeatedly devastating and only prolongs theContinue reading “D Day”

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining us! “When we recover loudly, we keep others from dying quietly” — Unknown “There’s a book in everyone” they say. Why did this have to be ‘our’ book? Seriously, why did this have to happen to me? Why did it have to happen to us? “Why not?” the wise person answered.

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