“But What Did You Do?”

Don’t you love it when you’re asked what part you played in your partner cheating on you? Like what did you do or didn’t do to make them act out 🤷‍♀️ Ummmm oh gosh let me see… I was and am faithful, trustworthy, loyal, committed, loving, kind, compassionate, playful, caring, adventurous, I’m a great cook,… Continue reading “But What Did You Do?”

30th Wedding Anniversary

2/10/1993 was the day we exchanged vows committing our relationship of 3 years to “til death do us part”. Beyond Betrayal; 28 Years, Lies-Deceit-Infidelity tells the whole story. So here we are 30 years married and just over 4 years into recovery, celebrating a milestone that I never thought we’d see after our 2018 separation.… Continue reading 30th Wedding Anniversary

“You’re lucky it’s only porn” 🤯

This post comes from a place of deep frustration and anger and I’m never sure whether that’s a good reason to hit publish or not but today it’s a yes! Last week I participated in a support group for men and women, all at varying stages of recovery and healing from their partners infidelity. One… Continue reading “You’re lucky it’s only porn” 🤯

Hey Affair Partner

I’m not even sure which one I’m writing to at this stage, there’s been a few, so I’m going to start with the ones who knew that the person they became involved with had a partner and a family. If I’m being honest you’re the ones I hold least respect for, you see you knew… Continue reading Hey Affair Partner

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️‍🩹

A wounded heart often struggles to live up to expectations of the Christmas season. If your heart is hurting, grappling to find joy in the midst of trauma, please be kind to yourself. Do what you must do but not more than need to and remember that it’s ok to say “no” to things that… Continue reading The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️‍🩹

Recovery Resources For Everyone

For anyone new on this journey, my hope is that this post gives you a starting point to find the right support you need and equip you with some tools for the road ahead. A metaphor of what the first 18 months of recovery felt like Our journey of recovery and healing began after I… Continue reading Recovery Resources For Everyone

Cleaning Out The Wound

Dave’s a surfer, he could spend hours in a lineup waiting for his chance to pull into the perfect barrel. Over the years he’s had his fair share of reef kisses. Most parts of his body have either been grazed, scratched, pierced or cut by some form of marine matter. Sea Urchins and broken bits… Continue reading Cleaning Out The Wound

Original Preface

Our harshest critic aka most constructive Beta Reader gave the feedback that this preface was “good but too long…” So although some of what you’re about to read is in our final copy, this is the entire unedited version that didn’t make the cut. I hope you can take something of value away from it.… Continue reading Original Preface

Becoming Safe

The only mistake that will destroy you, is the one you won’t admit to. I’m the last one to call an affair a mistake, I mean earthquakes and cyclones happen, you accidentally step in dog poo or brush your teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste, but no one just happens to cheat on their… Continue reading Becoming Safe

Dear Unfaithful

Dear unfaithful, There’s probably a lot in this that you’re not going to want to hear—but you really need to if you want to begin to understand what’s happened. Imagine that you’ve just dropped a nuclear bomb on your marriage, your spouse, yourself and your family.  The world as you once knew has been annihilated—napalmed—and… Continue reading Dear Unfaithful

Hey there! Ask me anything!