They didn’t tell you because they didn’t want to “hurt you”. Righto, anyone heard this before? How about these possibilities … They knew what they were doing was wrong They didn’t want to stop doing what they were doing They knew you’d be pissed and they didn’t want to have to deal with uncomfortable feelings… Continue reading 12 Reasons Why They Didn’t Tell You
Tag: gaslighting
Unveiling Truth
Honesty is without a doubt the number one necessity in re-establishing safety post betrayal, without this you’re faced with building your relationship on shifting sands when it requires and deserves rigorous honesty creating the solid bedrock of truth. D Day is a post I wrote in October 2020, I stand by the content while also… Continue reading Unveiling Truth
My Post Traumatic Growth Manifesto
Christmas Eve 2023 marks the 5th anniversary of my life changing forever in ways I never imagined. At first I could barely breathe let alone believe that I would ever write the following words… To anyone on the receiving end of a partners sh**** choices I pray my ramblings offer a glimmer of hope. My… Continue reading My Post Traumatic Growth Manifesto
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️🩹
A wounded heart often struggles to live up to expectations of the Christmas season. If your heart is hurting, grappling to find joy in the midst of trauma, please be kind to yourself. Do what you must do but not more than need to and remember that it’s ok to say “no” to things that… Continue reading The Most Wonderful Time of the Year ❤️🩹
Cleaning Out The Wound
Dave’s a surfer, he could spend hours in a lineup waiting for his chance to pull into the perfect barrel. Over the years he’s had his fair share of reef kisses. Most parts of his body have either been grazed, scratched, pierced or cut by some form of marine matter. Sea Urchins and broken bits… Continue reading Cleaning Out The Wound
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The Secret Sexual Basement
What the heck is this you may ask? The last three years have been quite the learning curve for us as we explore the complexities of infidelity, secrets, lies, duality, and narcissistic abusive behaviours. It’s a learning curve that I never imagined I’d be on—in saying this—I’m thankful that both Dave and I possess a… Continue reading The Secret Sexual Basement
Can Leopards Change Their Spots?
Once a Narc, Always a Narc? I’m not so sure. This kind of thinking is too black and white for me and I feel that the mindset only encourages unaccountability and a victim mentality. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but (He… Continue reading Can Leopards Change Their Spots?
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Real Time Recovery pt 2
I honestly wasn’t anticipating the fallout of asking Noni whether something was bothering her after grocery shopping. Sure she was quiet but I still didn’t think it had anything to do with me, I really wasn’t expecting it. Only when she queried what was going on back at the store did I realise that my… Continue reading Real Time Recovery pt 2
Real Time Recovery
If you’ve read our Memoir you’ll know right from the start that Dave nor I profess to have ‘arrived’ anywhere, we are still very much in the thick of this recovery journey. It’s taken us a lifetime to get to this starting point so it’s likely going to take us another lifetime to complete it!… Continue reading Real Time Recovery
Don’t Say A Word
Why do people think that not talking about affairs and the abusive nature of behaviours surrounding them, will somehow make them magically disappear? The notion of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” is infuriating. For me personally decades of secrets and deceit actually hurt more than the affairs themselves! Secrets will always be revealed… Continue reading Don’t Say A Word