Dear unfaithful, There’s probably a lot in this that you’re not going to want to hear—but you really need to if you want to begin to understand what’s happened. Imagine that you’ve just dropped a nuclear bomb on your marriage, your spouse, yourself and your family. The world as you once knew has been annihilated—napalmed—and… Continue reading Dear Unfaithful
Tag: Marriage
Dearest Betrayed
You didn’t deserve this… You did nothing to cause it and there is nothing that you could have done differently to prevent it from happening. Your partners’ betrayal had nothing to do with you, heck it didn’t even have anything to do with the other person/s or object/s they chose to betray you with. So… Continue reading Dearest Betrayed
What is Infidelity?
Dr Frank Pittman describes infidelity as “the keeping of secrets”. The longer Dave and I are on this recovery journey, the more we learn about ourselves and others, and the more we connect with betrayed or unfaithful men and women—the more we align with Frank’s description as being truth. If you’ve read our Memoir you’ll… Continue reading What is Infidelity?
Can Leopards Change Their Spots?
Once a Narc, Always a Narc? I’m not so sure. This kind of thinking is too black and white for me and I feel that the mindset only encourages unaccountability and a victim mentality. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but (He… Continue reading Can Leopards Change Their Spots?
Amazing Grace
GRACE is the unmerited favour of God toward mankind… Grace can’t be bought or earned and none of us is deserving. It’s a free gift borne out of divine love. Billy Graham says “Our human mind, with it’s philosophy of an equal return of favours done, can hardly comprehend the full meaning of this grace… Continue reading Amazing Grace
Trusting the Process
When Dave and I discovered the Affair Recovery website in 2019, we felt enormous relief that there were people in the world, ‘just like us’. People sitting on both sides of the infidelity fence, ones who wanted and managed to salvage their marriage and also ones who didn’t. We found a well of resources drawn… Continue reading Trusting the Process
Pain and Suffering
Who in their right mind wants to put their hand up for this! We live in a fallen world, unfortunately pain and suffering is an inevitable part of this broken humanity. Last month Pastor Lach interviewed Dave and I as part of a wider series on pain and suffering; there is pain and suffering which… Continue reading Pain and Suffering
Real Time Recovery pt 2
I honestly wasn’t anticipating the fallout of asking Noni whether something was bothering her after grocery shopping. Sure she was quiet but I still didn’t think it had anything to do with me, I really wasn’t expecting it. Only when she queried what was going on back at the store did I realise that my… Continue reading Real Time Recovery pt 2
The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity
*Content warning; this is a creative writing piece describing how the first 18 months of recovery felt for me, I’ve used some strong imagery that may be an emotional trigger for others who are on a similar journey. Please proceed with caution. You’re cruising down a long straight stretch of country road in this car… Continue reading The Infidelity Car Crash; The Carnage of Infidelity
The Art of Conflict
Dr John Gottman of the Gottman Relationship Institute identifies the greatest predictors of divorce as, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These horsemen are, criticism and contempt defensiveness and stonewalling. Dave and I hit an area of conflict last night and all I will say is that the four horsemen were well and truly going… Continue reading The Art of Conflict