As people of faith, we’ve come to expect the unexpected, and often experience unusual coincidences/situations when we’re on the cusp of doing something that might ruffle a few feathers. So, it came as no surprise when we were faced with a mildly awkward situation on Wednesday.
Our book is ready for release, Dave and I are doing well, we’re readying ourselves for ‘feedback‘—all the while—we’re feeling confident that we are doing the right thing.
Covid 19 brought a lot of change around the world throughout 2020—in Australia, it also gave rise to one female name that has become synonymous as a quintessentially unpleasant person.
‘Karen’ wasn’t a very popular woman in 2020 so it felt fitting that we christen the primary affair partner—Karen. (The reason we call Karen the primary affair partner, is that she was one of the originals from 1993, her attachment with Dave transcended at least 5 years so she was fairly significant)
Anyways, Dave and I are on holiday and on Wednesday afternoon we had just arrived from St Helens on the East Coast of Tasmania into the city of Launceston.
Tasmania is a 3-hour flight from our NSW home; offshore from mainland Aus, and Launceston is a 2-hour drive from St Helens via Derby. (We are a little ways from home, is what I’m trying to say)
The hotel we stayed in was on the edge of the CBD, it is a fairly industrial area with not much in the way of ‘happening’ places within the direct vicinity. Anyhoo, we parked outside the hotel and grabbed our bags to check-in. I walked slightly ahead of Dave towards the hotel entrance. Standing on the corner was a woman talking on her phone, she bore a striking resemblance to—you guessed it—KAREN…
She continued with her phone call, turned toward us and began waving to someone behind as she strode past, thankfully, remaining focused on who she was meeting.
I looked once, twice and three times, confident that it was her. But what were the chances of it really being her? I haven’t laid eyes on Karen since 2003! We were hundreds of kilometres from home. Was I seeing clearly? Did Dave see what I saw? Did he think the same?
Thankful that I had my sunnies on disguising gobsmacking surprise and to an extent hiding my identity. As for Dave, well, through 2 bouts of cancer and now having close-cropped hair, he might look a little different to how she remembers.
We went ahead, I didn’t look back but I was sure…
I waited for Dave to say something, unfortunately he didn’t. I waited and I waited until I could wait no more. I said, “Do you think that woman looked like someone today?”
He was straight on it “Karen. I saw you do a double-take, so I wondered if you thought that too? But then I thought, no she’s way too young, but what a doppelganger eh”.
OK, so as a betrayed wife, this is NOT really what you want your husband to say nor how you want it to unfold but I can accept with grace, the innocence of his response. Because he thought she looked so young he thought it was a good likeness, not actually her. What would have been a better response is for him to share his thoughts before I did, this kind of initiation, letting a partner into your thoughts builds intimacy, withholding for any reason becomes a barrier.
Dave was more like, no it probably wasn’t. I was like, nah I’m not so sure, so I did a little googling. I’m a hairdresser, I notice aesthetic details, so when I found a 2019 photo of Karen, the first thing that was obvious to me was that she had the same haircut as the woman on the street. It had to be her.
But what are the odds? Well, two nights later we were sitting at a craft beer house and outside sat a guy who looked very similar to Damien, a man I worked with several years ago. I send my old workmate, Damo, a message “Are you in Launceston?”. Simultaneously I watch the man outside look at his phone. I wait for a response. “Yes.”
“At St John’s?”
The man outside looks around to check the name of the place he’s at, “Yes”, he looks sideways, we wave and connect, it is Damo! Our small world seems to get smaller by the day.
What are the odds? and…
What are the odds that the woman was Karen? I’d say I’m 95% sure.
Does this change anything? Nope, it’s just one of those things…
PS I looked closer than Dave and she was well dressed but she really didn’t look that young, I reckon I’m on the money…
This shite changes overtime but I guess it never really disappears.
Noni xxx
I think that is the most difficult as a betrayed. Even when you feel like you are on top of it and you are ready to fight another day to make it work. You get blindsided with the truth that this person, or these people exist. They are still out there and although you forgive them the thought of seeing them is sickening! The unfaithful commit themselves to you and your marriage but it never stops the pain and onslaught of thoughts when the penny drops and once again it’s real. I can’t talk for any other betrayed but for me, when I see someone and do a double take, it’s like an emptiness in the pit of my stomach and I again have to remind myself to stay in the moment. It’s such an awful feeling to have to remind yourself you have forgiven this person, that had no consideration of the pain they caused you and your family. And then look at your unfaithful spouse and do the same forgiven them again for the pain that they knew ultimately and willingly they did cause. Not perfection but progress!
So true Beautiful, it takes a marathon effort to stay afloat. Forgiveness is key, over and over again… ❤️ You’re amazing xxx