My Post Traumatic Growth Manifesto

Christmas Eve 2023 marks the 5th anniversary of my life changing forever in ways I never imagined. At first I could barely breathe let alone believe that I would ever write the following words… To anyone on the receiving end of a partners sh**** choices I pray my ramblings offer a glimmer of hope. MyContinue reading “My Post Traumatic Growth Manifesto”

“He Had it Coming”

Some time ago I wrote The Moment of Impact quoting experiences of many betrayed partners around the world. In my opinion, society, culture and media do a lousy job conveying the reality and intensity of trauma and suffering inflicted upon loved ones in the wake of intimate betrayal. The consequences of infidelity, betrayal and addictionContinue reading ““He Had it Coming””

30th Wedding Anniversary

2/10/1993 was the day we exchanged vows committing our relationship of 3 years to “til death do us part”. Beyond Betrayal; 28 Years, Lies-Deceit-Infidelity tells the whole story. So here we are 30 years married and just over 4 years into recovery, celebrating a milestone that I never thought we’d see after our 2018 separation.Continue reading “30th Wedding Anniversary”

Pornography—Why the Big Deal?

Here’s a couple of questions for anyone in a committed relationship consuming porn. N.B. this is not a post with intent to provoke shame rather one that I hope might encourage users to think beyond the obvious. Q. Is your partner fully aware of what you’re doing—have you casually shared with them that you haveContinue reading “Pornography—Why the Big Deal?”

“You’re lucky it’s only porn” 🤯

This post comes from a place of deep frustration and anger and I’m never sure whether that’s a good reason to hit publish or not but today it’s a yes! Last week I participated in a support group for men and women, all at varying stages of recovery and healing from their partners infidelity. OneContinue reading ““You’re lucky it’s only porn” 🤯”

The Secret Sexual Basement

What the heck is this you may ask? The last three years have been quite the learning curve for us as we explore the complexities of infidelity, secrets, lies, duality, and narcissistic abusive behaviours. It’s a learning curve that I never imagined I’d be on—in saying this—I’m thankful that both Dave and I possess aContinue reading “The Secret Sexual Basement”

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What is Infidelity?

Dr Frank Pittman describes infidelity as “the keeping of secrets”. The longer Dave and I are on this recovery journey, the more we learn about ourselves and others, and the more we connect with betrayed or unfaithful men and women—the more we align with Frank’s description as being truth. If you’ve read our Memoir you’llContinue reading “What is Infidelity?”

Sobering Figures

I recently stumbled across the Sexual Health Australia site while meandering down the research rabbit hole. According to this organisation, Australia’s prevalence of extra-marital affairs is that a whopping 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that infidelity has occurred sometime in their marriage. They actually suggest that an accurate figureContinue reading “Sobering Figures”

Nail that shame to the cross!

Guilt and shame are two very different feelings. Guilt says “I’ve done something bad” shame says, “I AM BAD!” Guilt propels you to rectify your wrongdoing, shame keeps you trapped in a negative cycle of self loathing, self soothing, self focus, self, self, self. Shame is all about YOU but not in a healthy way…Continue reading “Nail that shame to the cross!”

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