Anniversaries & Triggers

Anniversaries and triggers are a painful reality following any traumatic event. Reactions can be variable depending on timing and circumstances, reminders are pretty much unavoidable—triggers may come from out of the blue and can be damn intense, to say the least. We, humans, are an interesting species, we need to attach meaning to almost everything,Continue reading “Anniversaries & Triggers”

Dearest Betrayed

You didn’t deserve this… You did nothing to cause it and there is nothing that you could have done differently to prevent it from happening. Your partners’ betrayal had nothing to do with you, heck it didn’t even have anything to do with the other person/s or object/s they chose to betray you with. SoContinue reading “Dearest Betrayed”

What is Infidelity?

Dr Frank Pittman describes infidelity as “the keeping of secrets”. The longer Dave and I are on this recovery journey, the more we learn about ourselves and others, and the more we connect with betrayed or unfaithful men and women—the more we align with Frank’s description as being truth. If you’ve read our Memoir you’llContinue reading “What is Infidelity?”

Amazing Grace

GRACE is the unmerited favour of God toward mankind… Grace can’t be bought or earned and none of us is deserving. It’s a free gift borne out of divine love. Billy Graham says “Our human mind, with it’s philosophy of an equal return of favours done, can hardly comprehend the full meaning of this graceContinue reading “Amazing Grace”

The Rabbit Listened

Someone very near and dear to Dave and I, someone who has known us for many years, is reading our memoir. Each time I speak with them, the same comment is made, “I don’t know how you put up with it”. During our last conversation they remarked, “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” “How comeContinue reading “The Rabbit Listened”

Pain and Suffering

Who in their right mind wants to put their hand up for this! We live in a fallen world, unfortunately pain and suffering is an inevitable part of this broken humanity. Last month Pastor Lach interviewed Dave and I as part of a wider series on pain and suffering; there is pain and suffering whichContinue reading “Pain and Suffering”

Real Time Recovery pt 3…

Relapse, lapse and acting out are all distinctively different behaviours—a lapse like this doesn’t automatically mean that a relationship is ruined. It serves as a reminder as to how sinister the roots of addiction are and also the marathon effort it takes to heal from a lifetime of unhealthy behaviours. What’s needed now is aContinue reading “Real Time Recovery pt 3…”

Severing Ties

How difficult was it to write our story? Bloody hard… After decades striving to maintain an image and hide truths, the journey to owning my own story as a cheat, liar and unfaithful husband, has been slow and arduous. I’d done everything within my power to prevent my brokenness from seeing daylight. Even when theContinue reading “Severing Ties”

But What About the AP?

Ahhhhh the affair partner, how many colourful names do we have for them? The dirty rotten pieces of work that they are—damn home-wreckers who set out to destroy our lives! Are they really? Here’s my theory, it may not be a popular one and at the risk of setting a cat amongst the pigeons, I’mContinue reading “But What About the AP?”

The Art of Conflict

Dr John Gottman of the Gottman Relationship Institute identifies the greatest predictors of divorce as, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These horsemen are, criticism and contempt defensiveness and stonewalling. Dave and I hit an area of conflict last night and all I will say is that the four horsemen were well and truly goingContinue reading “The Art of Conflict”

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